Bite your tongue and smile

So I’ve been in Ghana for a little over a week now. Approximately 9 days, to be exact, and I still have a hard time identifying how I feel about being here. All of my senses are completely overwhelmed all the time. I know that I will adapt and everyone tells me that it gets easier, but right now, I’m just trying to make it one day at a time. I feel like no amount of preparation could have prepared me for what it felt like to be completely uprooted from everything familiar and be plopped down in a country where everything is completely different. A part of me wishes I could break down and just go home, but I realize that though each day feels like it drags on to eternity, my time here will be short and I must make the best of it as quickly as possible if I am to survive, and perhaps thrive here.

             I don’t mean to sound so bleak.  I recognize that what I’m experiencing is important for growth. I also recognize that it’s important for me to express my fears and discomfort with the change in culture. I hope that by addressing it and laying it on the table will help me process it so I can move on and adapt more quickly. For instance, I can’t believe how weird it is being a minority here. My mom asked me on the phone a couple of days ago what it must be like “walking in a sea of dark faces”, and I told her I didn’t think much of it. But really, it is overwhelming. It’s intense knowing that everyone’s eyes are drawn to you simply because of the color of my skin. I’m going to stand out no matter what I do. They even have a word for people like me that everyone likes to call out, even the children. “Obruni” is technically translated as “English Person”, but it is used for anyone who is not Ghanaian, even if you’re African-American. It’s not meant to be an offensive term, but when you are walking down the street and you hear people saying it, they ARE talking about you and they DO expect you to respond to it. Having a specific name that people call you by adds to the overwhelming sense of being a foreigner, and that people identify you as such. I do recognize that this experience is really valuable for empathizing with people who experience the same thing in America. How disconcerting it is! Especially with the language barrier. English is considered the national language, but there are hundreds of local dialects spoken in different regions of Ghana. In the Cape Coast area where I am, the local dialect is Fante with a little Twi. I’ve been taking biweekly Fante lessons with my ProWorld group. It has helped, but people have a hard time understanding my pronunciations. That’s something difficult to adjust to, as well, and I fear that I annoy people when I don’t understand what they are trying to say. This is especially hard when managing the taxis, since most of the time the taxi drivers can’t understand what town I’m trying to tell them to go to (I live in a village called Esuekyir, but it can be pronounced Ehswecheh or Ehswehchee). There is no concept of personal space when it comes to merchants wanting me to buy things, and that was alarming for me when I first got here. The main food staples are yam, plantains, fish, and palm oil without a lot of variation. However, interns don’t often get meat because there are guidelines the host parents have to abide by when preparing food, since you can’t guarantee the cleanliness of meat you buy at the market. The same goes for fruits and vegetables. You can’t afford to eat any of it unless it’s been thoroughly washed or if it can be peeled. I often find chopped-up hot dogs in my meals, or my other intern friends have had other packaged meat products like sardines. There is no milk except sweetened condensed milk and soy milk, which is expensive. The lack of variation from the oil and starch has been hard on my stomach, and I feel queasy most of the time. I can’t believe how much I crave things like peanut butter and cow’s milk. My mind dwells on peanut butter toast with honey and a tall glass of cold, 2% milk more than is probably healthy.    

            However, I do have to talk about the positive things that have helped me adapt quickly here in Ghana. I have first off made fast friends with the other girls interning through ProWorld. There’s Laura Kate from South Carolina, Amina from Seattle, Jenna from Washington D.C. (who also works with me in HEPENS), and Lexie from Hawaii. We don’t see each other every day, but often we get together and go get food while having the chance to unwind from the stresses from our work days.  We’ve had a lot of fun bonding over positive and negative experiences while coming here. I also have a little puppy named Boots who lives in our home who is always so excited to see me, and whines for me when I close my room door. We were advised to not touch the animals around here because we don’t know what kind of diseases they might be carrying, but I remember Emily saying once that there are some crucial periods in a puppy’s life where it’s important for them to have human contact. I’m sure it’s not such a big deal here since wild dogs run around all over the place and are always around humans, but I think I needed Boots more than he needed me at the beginning. So I often sit with him and pet him while I read or practice Fante. Sometimes he will climb into my lap and will let me pet him there, and sometimes I share my unfinished lunch with him after a long day. I do try to be careful when I comes to getting germs, so I always careful to wash my hands afterwards. J

I need to say that I love the people here. I will even say that although I talked about feeling alienated from the people, it is the people that have made this experience worth it so far. You’re going to find good and bad people wherever you go, but for the most part, I feel that people have been compassionate towards me and have been understanding of my culture shock. The people I have formally met are immediately so open and welcoming. My host mother, Auntie Matilda, cares for me as if I were her own daughter. She practices Fante with me so I can travel with more ease by taxi. She gives me advice on prices in the market so people don’t over-charge me, and shows me how to wrap a sling around my waist to carry the children around as the other women do. Despite my best efforts to be clean, I got sick two days ago and when I did, Auntie made me soup, offered me extra blankets for warmth, gave me comforting hugs, and kept saying, “It makes me sad when I see you sick”. Her sister, Auntie Christina, is also a host mother for ProWorld interns and treats me like I am part of the family. I’m also in love with the neighborhood kids who come and see me when I’m home at night. There is a 20-year old boy named Emmanuel and a 19 year-old girl Diana who help teach me Fante until Auntie comes to tell me it’s time for bed. Diana doesn’t come often because she has a daughter she cares for (you get married young here), but when she does come, she tells me how beautiful and smooth my skin is. She is bold, beautiful, confident, and boisterous. She makes me laugh with her silly quirks, and she likes to talk about American culture and customs. Emmanuel is quieter and more careful with his English, so we cover a lot more with Fante lessons than what Diana and I cover. He does, however, like to talk about how Obama should be the president of Ghana instead of the U.S., since Obama came to visit Cape Coast in 2009 and now everyone here is OBSESSED with him.

 Another thing that I love about Ghanaians is how emphatic they are. I often hear people on the streets and at home talking very loudly towards each other, and I assumed they were constantly getting into fights. Now I realize that Ghanaians are slow to anger, but feel things very passionately, very deeply, and love to express themselves that way. I misunderstood mostly because of the language barrier, but now I can catch little laughs or tongue clicks that mark when people are speaking passionately, not necessarily argumentatively. I feel like that’s something I could relate to very easily, if I spoke Fante well enough. J

            Ghanaians seem to have very close and strong bonds with their neighbors. Auntie Matilda, for instance, is very popular in her neighborhood, so she has a lot of friends who come by and just walk into her house for a visit. When you are close to someone here, you call them your brother or sister. This gave me some confusion in the beginning and I thought Matilda simply had a massive family. More like she just has a lot of close friends. Every time a friend comes over, they emphatically greet me with “Akwaaba” (welcome) and “WfrƐ wo den” (what is your name). I can answer, “WƆfrƐ me_____” and then my name, or I can answer with my Fante name. You get a name according to the day of the week you were born on. From what I understand, it derives from long ago when babies often didn’t live past their first birthday, so Ghanaians would name their babies with a generalized Fante name until it was clear the baby would not die, and then would perhaps get a real name. I copied a small chart demonstrating the Fante names according to the day of the week you were born and if you’re male or female.

Day/Da	Male Name(s)	Female Name(s)
Sunday/Kwesida	Kwesi	Esi
Monday/Dwowda	Kojo	Adua
Tuesday/Benada	Kobi	Araba
Wednesday/Wukuda	Kweku	Ekua
Thursday/Yawda	Ekow	Aba
Friday/Fida	Kofi	Efua
Saturday/Memenda	Kwame	Ama

If you have twins, then you have the Fante name “Paniyn” for the older and “Kakra” for the younger. So according to google, Diana and I were born on a Thursday. That means I would be Paniyn Aba, and Diana would be Kakra Aba. When you tell Ghanaian people your Fante name, they love it. And I mean LOVE it. They laugh, clap their hands, and dance around with glee when they hear it. It was one of the first ice breakers for me here.

            I will talk later about the actual work I’m doing with HEPENS, as this post is already too emotional and too long. But thanks to anyone who read through this and doesn’t misjudge me. I’m healthy and grateful to be here, as difficult as adjustment can be. I love you all back home, and I hope you all are doing well. See you soon!

P.S. To those of you in my family who had complaints about my use of deodorant (RUDE), I’ll have you know that body odor is a minor complaint here compared to the odors of smoke, diesel fuel, and sewage. So la-ti-dah, I won’t have more of your teasing!

Sweet little Boots eagerly waiting for me in the morning

After eating nothing but fried, oily things day after day, I ordered a "Black Beauty" at a local restaurant, thinking it was some type of blackberry treat. This was my face when I realized "Black Beauty" is fried eggplant. That's Lexie and Jenna in the background laughing at my plight.

Holding a wee baben and being obsessed with his wee-ness. I couldn't contain myself. 

Here I am more under control of my emotions, eh Pacha? This little guy peed on me a few minutes after this picture was taken. Diapers are un-ordinary here. If your child goes while you're holding him, it's no big deal. Wipe it off and move on.